WilliamBWest: The Legend Continues!

Because I once knew of an acappella group named RL Six (say it...

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:10:50 -0400

Because I once knew of an acappella group named RL Six (say it fast), I’ve deduced this is either “Foreign Sex Girl” or “Phone Sex Girl”…

New Post has been published on...

Tue, 21 May 2013 13:03:55 -0400

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2013/05/21/best-of-the-west-knight-rider-knight-2000-voice-car/

Best of the West #3: Knight Rider Knight 2000 Voice Car

I don’t do these posts much, so you know it’s a special occasion. If you’re new here, then let me explain Best of the West to you: these are pieces of my collection that hold more meaning than the others. These are the “I’d grab if there’s ever a fire” items. This ain’t your average Thrift Justice stuff – these are the top shelf items. OK, now that I’ve got that out of the way, why am I doing this today? Well, it’s really all but the timing of some real life events. Yesterday was the funeral for one of the kids at work. I didn’t know him, but I wanted to feel a part of the community, so I volunteered to sing in the choir for the service. It was really moving, and it was a feeling I hadn’t experienced since glee club days. It got me to thinking how I’d want to be remembered when my time comes. I hope people think I was hilarious. Not just “haha” funny, but “why wasn’t he a comedian?!” funny. I hope they think I was a good person and a good friend. Also, I hope I’m remembered as a caring and magnificent lover, despite my average endowment (at least according to my spam folder…). Anyway, this also got me to thinking about my first funeral experience: my dad’s.

Courtesy of Orangeslime.com

My father passed away from an aneurysm when I was three. For this reason, I’m always scared of head trauma, and I never make fun of aneurysms. Because I was so young, I wasn’t really privy to the funeral proceedings. In fact, my cousin was tasked with taking me to Toys “R” Us to distract me. While there, I remember getting a radio controlled Knight Rider K.I.T.T. that had a working scanner light. You don’t give an RC car to a three year old! I just kept driving it into walls. It was really cool, but I was always rough with toys, so it didn’t last long. Sure, I kept it, but the electronics surely didn’t work, and the car looked like it did at the end of “Knight of the Juggernaut Part 1″.

Still, I remember the car always angered me because I couldn’t put a figure inside. I think I eventually even broke the window, like an inner city youth, just so I could stick a G.I. Joe in it. I didn’t realize there was actually a version that did what I needed it to do. No, I had my “distraction” K.I.T.T. so I wouldn’t realize my dad was gone. In fact, it wasn’t until years later that I pieced together what had happened that day. Until then, I always remembered it as “the time all my relatives came to see me”.

Fast forward to about a year ago. My former employer, Diamond Comic Distributors, was releasing a Previews exclusive Knight Rider K.I.T.T. with lights and sounds, and included a 3.75″ Michael Knight Figure. Of course I was gonna buy it! Even if it was $50, and the Michael Knight looked NOTHING like David Hasselhoff. That reminded me that I already had a nearly 6″ Michael Knight from the 80s, and I never really knew why he was released. Remember that post about my Cousin Oliver and the G.I. Joe mystery? Well, that was also the first and only time I saw Knight Rider toys at retail. With the exception of the Whip Shifter (which I also had), I had completely forgotten there was essentially a full line of toys. So I took to eBay, to learn more about the line, and find out if there were any figures other than Michael. It turns out he’s the only one, and that he came packed in with an electronic K.I.T.T. That had opening doors! What I always wanted had existed all the time! And the vintage K.I.T.T. had dropped in price since the announcement of the newer version, so you could get one for about $100. Why buy a newer copy when I could have the original? So, a few weeks before my wedding, I told Lindsay, “I’m about to drop about $100 on a Knight Rider car, and I just want you to know that.” Thankfully, she knew the importance and was cool with it. It actually arrived just before our honeymoon, but I didn’t really get a chance to look at it until weeks later. At the end of the day, it cost about $80 after shipping, and it had its original box! Oh, and IT WORKS! Let’s take a closer look at it, shall we?

This thing was $26.96 in 1985! That’s, like, $80 in today’s money. NOTE: I am not an economist, nor an expert on inflation

Nowhere on this box does it say “Child’s hand not included”. I demand my white child’s hand!

I wonder if it even had pack-in directions, as the whole shebang is told on the back of the box.

I love the detail of the stickers inside, but Michael needs to do some dusting!

I just like pushing it along my carpet, pretending K.I.T.T.’s driving through the desert. Of course, it’d be more effective if the friggin’ white child hand had been in the box!

As you can see from the box, K.I.T.T. says 6 different phrases. I couldn’t really verify them all, ’cause we’re a household with no C batteries; lots of Ds for some reason, though… Anyway, with the voice of someone who’s just roofied you, the car said “Callll mee K.T.T. for shorrrtt.” Supposedly, he also says:

“Engaging Infrared Tracking Scope”

“Scanner Indicates Danger Ahead”

“I Shall Activate The Turbo Boost”

“Your Reflexes Are Slow”

“What Is Our Next Mission?”

Well, the circle is now complete. Like a phoenix, my fallen K.I.T.T. has arisen, with all the qualities I originally wanted. Screw Diamond and their imposter. I now have the real thing! I hope you’ve enjoyed this “shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist”. Anyway, tomorrow’s promised to no one, so try to enjoy today. Thanks for reading, and let me know some of your “holy grails” in the comments!

A hint for tomorrow’s Best of the West post!

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:07:15 -0400

A hint for tomorrow’s Best of the West post!

S.H.I.E.L.D. surveillance cameras have confirmed that Cap is on...

Mon, 20 May 2013 19:59:42 -0400

S.H.I.E.L.D. surveillance cameras have confirmed that Cap is on the scene #toycrewbuddiesusa #acba #toycrewbuddies #toy #actionfigure #marvel

Wouldn’t put this on my car, but it sure as hell would...

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:56:35 -0400

Wouldn’t put this on my car, but it sure as hell would look nice on my Trapper Keeper. Bonus points for “The Great Equalizer” Jesus Fish…

Somebody crushed that pie! Literally!

Sat, 18 May 2013 07:39:04 -0400

Somebody crushed that pie! Literally!

New Post has been published on...

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:03:11 -0400

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2013/05/17/west-week-ever-51713/

West Week Ever - 5/17/13
Who has the West Week Ever? Read on to find out!

I was so proud of myself when this came on the radio this morning, and I remembered the rap from 18 years ago!

It has been a week, hasn’t it? At least it feels like it to me. I guess it’s because I started it with a bit of a subtweeted post in the Monday Musings. Most people have guessed who that was about, but I’ve got more than one “e-nemy”. I mean, think of whose podcasts I haven’t been on yet, and you’re getting warmer…I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about that, though. I’ve made some good friends online, and I really cherish that. From daily emails, to daily tweets, that’s the good part of all this, so I can’t let a few ne’er do wells ruin a good thing! Anyway, this is a pop culture site, so, let’s get it started!

Speaking of online friends, I’ve been meaning to talk about the host/producer of the UnderScoopFire! and MadCast podcasts, Corey Chapman. This guy is a runner, and he’s constantly posting stats like “Ran 14 miles today”. While some folks might be haters, I consider him an inspiration. Believe it or not, I used to run. Not competitively, but just for fun. Back in college, my friend Eric and I would run to Wegmans at 2 in the morning, just for shits and giggles (I needed him there or else I’d just look like a black dude who stole something). Anyway, I enjoyed that running, and years later, I found myself dating someone who decided to run a marathon…out of nowhere. I mean, if you saw her, “marathon” was not the word that would come to mind. But I’d run with her, and help her train for those marathons. They say that a good chunk of the marathon is in your head, and I’ve just never felt like I was “there”, psychologically. Still, I was talking to my boss yesterday, and doing the math, realized I’ve probably gained 80 lbs over the past 10 years. I’m 31 and on high blood pressure medicine. So, something has to change. It’ll be a slow process, but I want to try running again. Nobody “in real life” wants to run with me. I won’t be posting 14 miles anytime soon, but I kinda hope I can look to Corey as a virtual “run buddy” as I slowly get back to where I was before. That, my friends, is the power of social media.

Buy something from my store! I’m not begging here, but the hustle is gettin’ kinda hectic! I’ve never been blown off as much from Craigslisters as I have in the past week. Buy this shit so I don’t have to meet a stranger in a dark parking lot!

I’ve written about it before, but I made a realization this week: if I only read one comic a month, it would be Ultimate Spider-Man. Wait, I guess I mean Ultimate Comics Spider-Man. I know a lot of people don’t focus on the Ultimate Universe because it’s not the “real” Marvel, but it’s so damn good. If you haven’t read it, just go back to the introduction of Miles Morales. Don’t even bother with all the Peter Parker stuff. So damn good. BTW, I’m still trying to teach myself to love the digital medium for comics. I’m getting there, thanks to a wonderful gift from @Ponderiss, but if you’ve got any unused digital codes, send them my way!

Some weird stuff’s been going on that I feel funny for telling you, but I need content filler. Lately, I’ve been going to places that I’ve been to only in dreams. I know that sounds crazy, but hear me out. For example, I had a dream a few weeks back where I was in some weird banquet hall. Fast forward to last Sunday’s Mother’s Day brunch – IT WAS AT THE SAME HALL!!! I’ve never been to that place in my life, but the layout was the same and everything. Plus, randomly enough, a few nights ago I had a dream that I got a really shitty tattoo on my shin probably after playing hacky sack at a Dave Matthews Band concert). Then, a few days later, I found myself in a tattoo parlour. Sure, I wasn’t getting a tattoo (it was a Craigslist deal), but the timing was really weird. Anyway, I sold them some Star Wars figures that they’re gonna display in the shop. They let me take pics of what they already had.

Just a random pic of Paige Davis. Nothing to see here…

I briefly toyed with the idea of a West Weekette, but then I remembered that I like sleeping in my bed…

Links I Loved

Head over the DoubleDumbassOnYou and read ALL of their Star Trek Week posts. Trust me! Here are links, so you have no excuse!

Welcome To Star Trek Week

Star Trek Week — Review: Star Trek #1 (DC Comics, 1989)

Star Trek Week — In Defense of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Star Trek Week — Collection Spotlight > “Star Trek III Taco Bell Glass”

Star Trek Week — My (Model Kit) Ships of the Line

Star Trek Week — From The Archives

Star Trek Week — Forging A Klingon Bat’leth with the Man At Arms

The Robot’s Pajamas Turns a Million - Congrats on 1M page views!

This Week’s Posts

Monday Musings: Twouble With Twibbles

Thrift Justice: YSE – Trials & Tribble-ations

Farewell to Friends & Foes: The TV Cancellations of 2013

Star Trek Week – Why Starfleet?

10 Television Shows that Outgrew Their Premise – cowritten with my boy, @HowardTheDeck

Also, this was the first week that I participated in Thriftasaurus over at Sir Thrift A Lot’s site. It’s a weekly link party for thrifters, and hopefully I can get some more eyes on the Thrift Justice posts. Head over there and check it out!

One lost their shit on Facebook after a poor showing on Kitchen Nightmares, while the other’s gonna need a new job, dawg. One is a Kardashian minor who has triggered several “countdown” sites, while the others had their televised swan song last night. Only one, however, had the West Week Ever.

Ah, The Office. In recent years, the show has been “Simpsonized”, with everyone claiming “It’s not as good as it used to be!” I disagree. While most felt it should’ve ended with Steve Carell’s departure, I disagree. If anything, Michael stayed too long. It was great to see how the workplace evolved in his absence. We got to see the “Nard Dogg” in the manager role, we saw an alliance and friendship bloom between Jim and Dwight, and characters like Darrell got more of the spotlight. The Office did NOT end with Michael Scott, and it’s too bad most people didn’t realize that. Sure, this past season was a chore at points, but these were still people we had come to know and love. Look at your own life – your real friends aren’t always doing something interesting, and they probably tell stories you don’t care to hear, either. That’s how it was with this show. Still, through all that, it ended strong. Last night’s finale was true to what the show was about, and everyone got a fitting sendoff. If I had one problem with it, it’s that I don’t feel NBC really showed its appreciation. The show carried Thursday night for YEARS, yet it didn’t even get a real credits roll (as pointed out by @zacshipley). Instead of going out with its autonomy, the credits were highjacked by a promo for Hannibal. Plus, I mentioned this on Twitter, but it needs to be repeated: in years past, when a long-running show ended, the network would post a card after the credits that said something like “Thank You For All The Years of Making Us Laugh”. I always thought that was a classy gesture, and it tended to bring a tear to my eye for certain shows. To my knowledge, Married…with Children was the last show to get that distinction. I feel like The Office certainly deserved something like that, and it was a shame that it didn’t come to pass. I know they got the retrospective special, but this is a different animal to me. So, thanks for all the laughs, guys. This is why The Office had the West Week Ever.

On the next Silverhawks, the ghost of Alec Baldwin is calling...

Thu, 16 May 2013 17:13:30 -0400

On the next Silverhawks, the ghost of Alec Baldwin is calling the shots!

#deco

Wed, 15 May 2013 23:12:50 -0400

#deco

See the cars lined up? I hate that. That’s essentially...

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:09:14 -0400

See the cars lined up? I hate that. That’s essentially hobo’s code for “These have already been picked. I got all the good ones.” #hotwheels #toyshelves #toycrewbuddiesusa #toycrewbuddies

Coming to http://willswonders.com in about an hour...

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:58:00 -0400

Coming to http://willswonders.com in about an hour #toycrewbuddiesusa #toycrewbuddies

Playing with filters

Mon, 13 May 2013 01:50:09 -0400

Playing with filters

Keepin’ it real, son!

Sun, 12 May 2013 15:17:13 -0400

Keepin’ it real, son!

Based on which fruit is gone, use your deductive skills to...

Sun, 12 May 2013 15:13:44 -0400

Based on which fruit is gone, use your deductive skills to figure out which race dominates this brunch

Are those their government names?!

Sun, 12 May 2013 13:52:31 -0400

Are those their government names?!

Grass. Eat it up, nature whores! #grass #nature...

Sun, 12 May 2013 12:45:13 -0400

Grass. Eat it up, nature whores! #grass #nature #deservesabillionlikes

The cat got Lindsay a card and a dryer sheet. I think it’s...

Sun, 12 May 2013 09:55:49 -0400

The cat got Lindsay a card and a dryer sheet. I think it’s used. Yay, Mother’s Day!

“Everywhere I turn, it’s TRACY TRACY TRACY!”...

Fri, 10 May 2013 16:52:18 -0400

“Everywhere I turn, it’s TRACY TRACY TRACY!” #toycrewbuddies

“#Obamacare did thissssss to me, Spider-Man! All I wanted...

Thu, 09 May 2013 00:12:31 -0400

“#Obamacare did thissssss to me, Spider-Man! All I wanted was to eat brainsssssss!”

No thanks to Mattel’s shoddy plastic, Zatanna looks like...

Thu, 09 May 2013 00:08:36 -0400

No thanks to Mattel’s shoddy plastic, Zatanna looks like Peter North dropped by her dressing room #toycrewbuddies #sockdrawer